


hold on to me

by aurora_chiroptera



Series: Magnus, Catarina, Ragnor Chronicles (stories stand alone) [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Early in Canon, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Families of Choice, Gen, Ragnor is around he just doesn't make an appearance, references to magnus' mother and all that comes with that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 12:50:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20135746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurora_chiroptera/pseuds/aurora_chiroptera
Summary: "Magnus was as startled by her as she was by him, and she saw the tears shining in his eyes. Catarina watched as he raised a hand to magic them away..."Catarina sits with Magnus on the anniversary of his mother's death.





	hold on to me

**Author's Note:**

> Content warning for mentions of Magnus' mother's suicide.

The sound of giggling was coming from Ragnor's room, Magnus had gone out on his own, and Catarina was reminded why she sometimes needed a decade away from these two. The little flat they were all sharing in Florence was starting to feel too small. Either that, or she needed to find a way to get laid herself. But that was going to be a pain without either of her wingmen.

Sighing and trying to ignore the sounds from Ragnor's room, Catarina looked through her clothes. Honestly though, she could do without a skirt. Deciding that Magnus could share, probably wouldn't even notice she’d taken anything, she slipped across the hall, unlocking his door with magic.

What she didn't expect was to walk in on the warlock himself, apparently returned. Magnus was thankfully not entertaining a guest and he was very much sober, sitting at the end of his bed in only his pants and a loose shirt. He was as startled by her as she was by him, and she saw the tears shining in his eyes.

Catarina watched as he raised a hand to magic them away, and shook her head to stop him. Crossed the room, shutting and locking the door behind her, Catarina took a seat next to Magnus and pulled him close. He pushed his face into her shoulder, and let sobs shake his body. Catarina ran her hand up and down his back soothingly, and he clung to her. It was rare that Magnus let his flashy walls down so completely, and she would do whatever she could to hold him together.

When he had quieted, she asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I just... realized she's been gone for over a hundred years now," Magnus' voice broke multiple places, but he got the words out.

"Who?" Catarina knew that Magnus had his 100th birthday only a few years ago.

"My mother," was the heartaching response.

Catarina did know the general of what happened to Magnus, built from bits and pieces that slipped out when Magnus was drunk or in some other way intoxicated. It was hard to put them into a full picture, because she was usually also very drunk with Magnus. What she did know that his mother had killed herself and left Magnus to face an unloving world alone.

"I love her," Magnus continued, not lifting his head. If anything, he clung closer to Catarina. "Even if she couldn't love me, I still love her. I want her to be proud."

"Oh Magnus," Catarina said, holding him close and wishing she could protect him from all the cruelty the world had ever shown him. "She should be. I have never met a more loving soul than you. You might be a self sacrificing idiot at times, but it just means you've saved more people. Myself included."

Magnus gave a laugh that was really more of a sob. "It doesn't bring her back."

"No," Catarina whispered, thinking of her own parents. They had loved her, raised her, even though she was a strange blue baby. They were also gone, the fate of time. "But that's okay. You can make sure others are safe. And you can love those who will love you as you deserve."

Magnus sighed, and pulled away. He made a face. "I think my makeup ruined your shirt."

Catarina shrugged, "I was coming in here to steal one of yours anyway."

Magnus gave a watery laugh, and Catarina reached out, wiping away his tears gently. "I guess that is only fair. I did borrow that corset the other day."

"And I don't want it back," Catarina said, scrunching her nose. That got a real, if watery, smile from Magnus. "I think I'll have a night in though. Care to join me?"

Magnus nodded. "I bought some fabulous wine-"

"I was thinking... hot tea and honey," Catarina interrupted, and Magnus raised an eyebrow. "I have this lovely new novel I wish to get into."

Magnus' face softened. "Tea sounds lovely. Should we take turns reading the chapters aloud?"

"Indeed, and we shall stay in here," Catarina said. At Magnus' curious look she added, "We don't want to share a wall with Ragnor tonight."

Catarina and Magnus ended up falling asleep only a few chapters in, warmed by the tea and company. As Catarina settled on the other side of her friend's bed, Magnus sound asleep facing her, she murmured, "I'm very glad to know you, Magnus." Pressing a kiss to his forehead, she knew then that she would always be there to protect Magnus' heart, just as he would be there to protect hers.


End file.
